The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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