what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize