i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
