Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
My dick has a subreddit
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
