is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Ketchup is God's man juice
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
