I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
