he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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