People in love make me want to vomit
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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