do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
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