Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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