so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
