Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
