Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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