I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
