I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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