The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize