I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
