I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
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