someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
