im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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