Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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