Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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