I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
