its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
