Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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