Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
