I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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