Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
