Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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