Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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