end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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