Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
