Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I just saw a hot homeless man
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
