the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
