So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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