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The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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