no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
