So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
