Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
