You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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