remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
