Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Randomize