I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
