i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
