I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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