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Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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