how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
