'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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