The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
