I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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