ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
