There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
