I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
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