O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
