that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
