The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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