I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
