I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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