Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Randomize