Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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