i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
