We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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