hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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