go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Randomize
