Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
He shit in the fireplace
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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