Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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