he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
