i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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