Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
