is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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