covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
