Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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