mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
