We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
