You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
