and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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