Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
