This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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