She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Randomize
